I want to welcome you back to this sacred space of mine here on the internet. It’s been a long break on my side and I’m sorry to have been lacking in posts and inspiration lately. A lot has happened in the past four months, a lot of life changing stuff! Having a baby is no joke!
Grayson William was born on September 8th, 2016 at 3:14 p.m. weight 8 lbs and 4oz. To say our lives were changed forever is an understatement. He is the BEST blessing that has ever been entrusted to us, but also the most challenging (not that he is a challenging baby, he is so sweet and chill, but learning to be a parent to a tiny baby is not so chill)
Life as a mom opens you up to a whole new world. I’m sure you pro moms are like oh yes, we know! Well, I’m here to tell ya you don’t know until you know. NOTHING can prepare you for becoming a parent. NOT. A. THING. Which is probably good because you may say yikes and run the other way, but then you will miss out on the beauty!
First off childbirth is for real friends, that shit is no joke. Lets just be honest, a lot goes on and it’s not all pretty. You’re definitely pushed out of your comfort zone and into a world of new experiences. As beautiful as it is having a child there are so many things that are just traumatic about having a child. Granted, I had a pretty terrible experience at the hospital, which is one reason why I haven’t really written Grayson’s birth story. It was pretty traumatic emotionally and quite honestly physically. I said to some of my close friends afterwards, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HOW TRAUMATIC IT WAS GOING TO BE? Most of which answered that they didn’t want to scare me. However, I truly think childbirth and all the hormone changes that come with it should be talked about more in our society. The amount of times I felt like I was not normal after having a child made me feel so insecure about being a mom. Had I know more about what was actually the norm for most new moms, I would have felt way less insecure about my developing parental abilities.
This is one of my many take aways about having a child and the time afterwards of adjustment. There needs to be a whole lot more support and encouragement! (My gracious mother stayed for 3 weeks which was HUGE, but I’m talking from the hospital and just society in general) Bringing a life into this world that you are responsible for taking care of and raising up is such a huge thing and new moms are clueless. At least I was! I can remember going to a support group for breastfeeding and being a hot mess because all I could do was cry because I had no clue what I was doing. Then I realized how not alone I was in that. I was so isolated thinking I’m the only one struggling, I’m the only one who doesn’t know what her baby needs as soon as they cry, I’m the only one who is fumbling around with all the things you use for a baby. ALL. THE. THINGS. Let me tell you it felt so good to not be alone! So new moms, know from the start you are NOT ALONE. If I had had a great experience with genuine kindness and support at the hospital then maybe I would have gotten off to a better start.
Motherhood is the biggest change in my life. You see the world differently. I see my students differently. I have a little more patience because somebody loves them just as much as I love my son and I would be so hurt if my child wasn’t given the patience they needed. I understand the deepness of fear from knowing I have so much more to lose now. And if I’m being really honest, currently I’m drowning in that fear. After much research and conversations with mom friends, I again know I’m not alone in my fears and anxieties. But friends, if I didn’t have others to talk to how would I ever know that I’m not alone? I wouldn’t and that’s the problem! So many new moms feel isolated and feel like they have no support. It should not be this way in our society. There needs to be more of an open conversation about the realities of having a baby. Our culture needs to stop shaming moms for breastfeeding because I guarantee if it were more widely accepted and we had experience in seeing it happen as we grew up it wouldn’t be so hard to figure out. It would be a norm.
Also, what’s with our society and the “supermom” fad? Ladies, you can’t do it all. So just stop. BE. REAL. Putting it out there on social media like you’ve got it all together all the time is just unrealistic and it’s setting up new parents for a false reality and also it causes stress when again you think you don’t have it together and everyone in the world does because of what you see posted. I truly wish women would dig more into their imperfections and be real about them. For me, that’s where God shines the most, I’m imperfect but He still provides, loves, and cares for me. In those imperfections and times of weakness He is my strength and He gets all the glory for it!
The deepest connections in life stem from vulnerability. What a scary word. We need to shine a light on vulnerability and not make those who share their real, raw experiences feel less than. Because if the door was truly open into most of our lives it’s really just a room of hidden vulnerability. So for the sake of paving a less isolated path for new moms, society, lets just be real with each other!
What real talk advice would you give to new moms? Join the conversation and be real! Comment below, we would love to hear your thoughts mommas!