Feeling the way we want to feel can come easier than we may think. But it comes with great reflection and being honest with ourselves. How to control your feelings is what we are going to discover today. When we realize the steps we need to take to help ourselves take back control of our feelings we can start living out the life we desire to live.
Your Current State of Feeling
If you find yourself in a state of your thoughts spinning and spinning through a cycle of questions like:
- “I just want to be happy”
- “How can I feel better”
- “I can’t figure out how to stop feeling this way”
- “Am I always going to feel this bad about ______”
You need to know you’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with YOU.
You’re not the first person to feel this way and you won’t be the last.
I cannot even tell you the times that I’ve had these same exact thoughts. Stuck in a never ending cycle of feeling like I’m a victim to my feelings and at a loss of all control. There are seasons of life where I still feel like this thought chain corrupts my mind.
These feelings can isolate and manipulate you into believing untruths about yourself. This is detrimental to self confidence, motivation, joy, and your life as a whole.
When you start to truly believe the untruths that you’re constantly feeling your mind spirals out of control and loses all positivity.
If you are practicing thinking negative thoughts, you are getting better at thinking them” -Brooke Castillo
What you Need to Know About Feelings
Many people go through life thinking that feelings should lead our way. I’m the epitome of this. Just ask my husband or closest friends. They can tell you that when I feel, I feel deeply and I act upon those feelings. They guide my every direction and when my thoughts are left to their own devices, my feelings lead me astray and into dark places. Which is why this whole idea of taking back control of our feelings is important for everyone to learn.Our thoughts are what create our feelings and our actions stem from our feelings.Click To Tweet
All of our actions come out of the way we are feeling but it doesn’t have to mean that we don’t have ownership over our feelings.
Our thoughts are what create our feelings and our actions stem from our feelings.
So what does this mean for us?
WE HAVE A SAY IN HOW WE GET TO FEEL.
Let that sink in for a moment and empower you.
If our thoughts create our feelings then we need to learn how to take control of our thoughts. Take action and start by taking a moment to think about one feeling you’ve been feeling lately. Stop and actually think about that feeling.
Define the feeling by asking yourself what is this feeling? How is it actually making me feel? How has it affected my daily life and actions?
Next I want you to think about what thoughts are causing you to feel that feeling. List them all out by actually writing them out. Put them on paper so that you can see them in front of you.
For example, if you’re feeling fear and all of your actions are stemming from fear list out what is causing you to feel fear. It might look something like this
Thoughts that cause my fear:
- Not being able to keep my child safe
- Not being successful
- People not liking me or judging me
Take a look over those thoughts that you’re having. Analyze those thoughts that are causing your feeling and ask yourself. Can I think about this in a different way? Can I change the way I think about this so that I can change the way I feel?
The answer to those questions is YES, YOU CAN! You have to make the decision that you are going to take control back over your mind and keep it in check.
Our minds think over 60,000 thoughts a day. If our mind is left to wander on it’s own of course we are going to start feeling negative feelings that we don’t want to feel. But when we take back control and supervise our thinking we get a choice in how we feel. We can train our minds to think differently.
This concept of writing out our feelings and analyzing how we are thinking and what thoughts truly create that unwanted feeling is strange to many. Actually writing down these thoughts and feelings is an exercise that may feel uncomfortable but I promise you when you start to do the hard work of digging deeper within yourself you will see a positive change. Your mindset will change, your thoughts will change, your feelings will change, and your actions will change. All of this leads to positive results.